Solomon Vann Memorial Scholarship

When I was 13, I learned what mental health really was. I had heard about mental health and mental illness because it was "trendy" but I didn't realize that I was also vulnerable. I was uneducated on what mental health was and the importance of maintaining a healthy mind. Peering back into my childhood, I realize I missed several signs of developing mental illnesses that could have probably been avoided, however, my experience with mental illness wasn't the only one to drive me to where I am today. When I was in elementary school I was a very open and friendly person, often engaging in conversations with ease and participating in group activities, however, I was often bullied and avoided as being the "weird" kid because I was considered different. I was diagnosed as Autistic during this time and socialization was not my strong suit. When I entered middle school, I began developing an anxiety disorder, most likely due to bullying or purely just genetics. I became enclosed and sheltered from people that I was not extremely close with. In my later middle school and early high school years, I developed a depressive disorder often triggered by my lack of socialization. I would go to school and then go home, repeating the same process every day. In 10th grade I stepped out of my comfort zone, joining clubs, reconnecting with old friends, attending local football games with them, and putting myself out there. Unfortunately soon after was when the pandemic occurred, resulting in a worldwide lockdown. This took my anxiety and depressive disorder to a level beyond anything I had experienced previously. I developed common symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder, specifically intrusive thoughts which caused me to isolate and have suicidal tendencies. This disorder has unfortunately followed me throughout my entire educational career. Once I entered college I began to experience trouble with my eating habits. I had always struggled with my weight as I was overweight growing up and eventually reached a normal weight, although with unhealthy methods. I was told by multiple people that I "weighed too little" or "don't eat enough". I would often go as far as to make myself sick after eating to avoid gaining weight. I have reached a point where I am on the verge of being underweight, though I have started doing better in terms of eating, thanks to the constant support of those close to me. While my personal experience in mental health is playing a crucial role in my personal and career goals, so did the mental health of those around me. Before I left for college, my grandmother developed symptoms of dementia and became very aggressive, causing me to have to abandon her against my best wishes because she rejected to seek help. It was a terrifying experience and has ultimately affected what I want to pursue. This set in stone my decision to first seek a bachelor's, later master's, and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology to become educated in Psychopathology, the study of mental illness and disorders. I want to help others who have suffered as well as have the opportunity to study people suffering from mental illness. I want to be able to study the development of illness and be able to develop a more effective treatment to give them a fulfilling and successful life. Thanks to my experience with mental health, I determined what I wanted to do with my life. It helped me develop an education and career goal. It also has given me several opportunities to help others who have struggled as I have.

Since I was seven years old, I knew I wanted to become an engineer. I was asked in church what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I boldly stood up and answered, Engineer—not knowing what is entailed in becoming an engineer. I have been fortunate and grateful to have great parents and teachers who guided me through school to now attending college in the Fall. As a result of my hard work and their continued guidance, I have achieved a 4.3 GPA. I am part of the National Honor Society, Spanish Honor Society, Computer Science Honor Society, Rho Kappa, and Mu Theta Society. I am also a 3-year academic letterman recipient, which places me in the top 10% of my class. I was honored to receive the College Board's National African American Recognition Award. During the pandemic, I thought as many had not known what the future held for me, my family, and my friends. I developed anxiety when I was isolated in my home, unable to socialize with my teachers and friends and all that was happening in society. It was a dark time, but with the support of my parents and communication online with my teachers and friends, I achieved a virtual social environment. As a 15 soon to be 16 year old, I regressed from wanting to learn to drive. It took the support of my parents and their willingness to allow me the opportunity to make the choices for a healthier me. I am glad to say that I obtained my graduated driver's license in February 2023. I can now drive myself to school, soccer practice, and social events with my friends without needing my parents to drive me around. I learned adversity tolerance and patience during this period. Thankfully, I overcame this period with support from my family and community. Right before the pandemic, I was chosen as a volunteer to work as a guide at the Birmingham Zoo, but the pandemic hit, and everything shut down. With an academic load of general and Advanced Placement classes, soccer practice and games, and a commitment to achieve a high GPA, I was offered an alternative to my original choice to volunteer. I will always be grateful to my senior Pastor, Jay Downes. Mr. Downes was able to offer me a volunteer position. He told me he wanted me to restore four metal benches to their original glory. Mr. Downes walked me to the church's tool storage shed and the benches. They were rusty and needed a bunch of sanding and painting. No guidance or direction was offered, but a few words, here you go. It took grit, hard work, and sanding less than a day to realize I needed to find an alternative way. I researched online and found an alternative to sanding, Naval Jelly. I was able to cut down the time of sanding to one day. I spent the next two days wiping down and spray-painting the benches. This was the start of my volunteering journey, but I will always be grateful for the opportunity. I learned practical things from this short-lived opportunity. Mr. Downes, unfortunately, passed away over a year ago due to COVID-19, but he will always live on in my mind. My goal is not just to be an engineer but also to achieve my doctorate in Biomolecular Engineering. I now know that it takes dedication to complex work, resilience, and determination to achieve my goal, and with continued support, I know that I can achieve my dreams and goals.

I was diagnosed with ADHD last week. Last week. The journey hasn't been easy to get here, and now that I'm at the top of this proverbial mountain, medicated and experiencing what it's like to feel... okay, I think, okay, maybe, it makes me contemplative. While I'm relieved that I've reached this peak, I feel grief for the younger me that suffered in the not-knowing, because I was a hyperactive little girl who couldn't focus, and that was just.... normal. But now I know it wasn't normal-- my undiagnosed mental illness gave me depression when I couldn't function right, and severe, crippling anxiety that my future was over before it even began. Now, I can say that my mental illness did that to me, and I have a little folder of $900 papers to prove it. But... America IS facing a mental health crisis. We're experiencing a new age in many different ways; mental health, of course, being a very notable example. There are stigmas around mental health that debilitate those already suffering, and there is no support out there that can give back the safety, comfort, and optimism for the future that the world has taken from them. Yes, we are in a crisis. But that is not the end. Semicolons exist in lieu of periods for a reason; and so too does the phrase, "this is not over," to follow a grim story. At a national level, change is already happening. One can look at the way the conversation has shifted around mental illness over the last few years. It's not perfect, but people seem to care more than they used to. But, caring is not the only important aspect-- national funding of mental health services to specifically help those in need would be so crucial to help those who are struggling with mental health, and could lessen the social stigma that needing help is something to be ashamed of. At a state level, Alabama would need to implement or support affordable mental health services in areas with higher minority populations, as they are certainly underserved and, considering the nature of racism in not just America, but the South, they certainly deserve to have access to such a vital component of healthy living. School is tricky. It seems these days that anything too "woke" is shot down, and certainly, they might feel the same about any suggested mental health curriculums-- it would be hard to get it to practical stages. But.. Perhaps, just because something is hard, doesn't mean it's not worth doing. Maybe I wouldn't have needed to wait 21 years to feel okay with myself if I had known more about what I was struggling with. I am certain it would help other children with that, too. For community, family, even, we need only follow through on the promise of the name. Community. Having compassion for those around you. Building and fostering support networks for those who feel lost. We're so isolated these days-- I don't know my neighbor's names. And, perhaps similar could be said of our families; sometimes I'm afraid to tell them when I struggle. But what is family for if not to catch us when we stumble? I apologize to myself a lot. For things I say to myself now, and for things I say about my younger self, who didn't know any better. The world can be cruel, but we need not help it in this grim duty. Mental illness is not your fault. Try to treat yourself with the grace you would show your favorite person in the world.

Education is vital and it can help enhance my knowledge to be able to teach other people about mental health. Education is important to me because it reminds me of the story of Malala and how she was unable to get access to education as a girl in her country and she fought for education until she got the approval of doing so. My parents believe in getting an education as it enhances us as individuals and makes us a greater part of society. Some challenges I faced were teachers not believing in me and I thought because they didn’t believe in me, I couldn’t believe in myself. I plan to debunk their beliefs and do everything I can to the best of my ability. Working with adults who have mental illnesses has allowed me to be more aware of others around me and to be grateful. I know of many people who have and still currently are facing mental health crises. On a national and state level, I believe politicians can speak on the importance of mental health and provide resources for people to access health providers so people can access them. My high school monthly spoke about the importance of mental health and the resources but didn’t make the resources available in front of our eyes. I think the schools should have posters to talk about who to call or message when they are going through certain things. I believe that they should also have people who are certified for others to access in the schools so students can speak to them. Students need things right in front of their faces to know they can get help and access it. On a community level, people can be kind to their neighbours. The Bible speaks about being kind to one another and treating others with respect. I believe also having someone readily available to speak to is important. With the community and recreation centres, there should be posters and mental health advisors. After working in my local community center, I realized that a lot of students after school come and cause trouble. After speaking with some of them, they avoid wanting to go home. Knowing that there is someone to talk to and cares about them, is important. On a family level, I believe it is important that our family members listen to us and care about our feelings. Coming from a Caribbean household, it can be difficult to express oneself about mental difficulties but it would be great if parents are educated about mental illnesses and how to cope with them. Just being a listening ear to your child, can make a major impact on their life. I am currently in Business Healthcare Administration and I plan to pursue a master’s in healthcare administration. I then plan to start working in a hospital as a hospital administrator, and CEO, and then go for a Ph.D. in Business. I then want to open my own business to help those who are less fortunate so they can have access to healthcare. I find that this will benefit people as some people in America may not have full access to adequate healthcare. It can start with having a few pop-up clinics and information sessions about mental health and start change from there. I know that God has great things in store for me and it will only be possible once I put God first in everything I do.