Above the Peak - Ama Dablam Kesel Family Scholarship

Growing up I was always the first kid to notice every detail. I was the first person to notice that new hair cut you got last Tuesday. I have an amazing memory, still to this day. I was the first person to remember the due date. As I was always praised of an amazing "gift" It wasn't just a gift, but a curse. I struggled with the remembrance of the most gruesome, but heartachingly day of my life. My father, Randy Palozzi, an almost God like man. He had the kindest heart and soul that I never saw in anyone, but myself. I was my father, but my actions never were. My father struggled with the disease of addiction, it took over his life. He dragged himself down the abyss as he took us down with him. Struggling with bipolar and addiction, the abyss took him down. May 7th, 2008 my father sat himself in the white tiled bathroom room, holding the needle to his own pic line. 2 years old, beady eyes, pink fur jacket, my little brown boots. I stared him in the eyes as he looked at my soft forest brown eyes. I see my father collapse and that's when I did too. Running to my crib, hiding from what I just saw. "The heroin killed him" As the physical aspect may have killed him, his own mental killed him. I can still remember the horrifying screams my mother gave. She just saw her own daughter witness her father's suicide. This affected me long term in many ways I didn't think they would. My father was an addict, but a writer. He had the most beautiful soul that could represent when written on paper. His writing wasn't enough to help him, and that's why I was born. I was born to understand and to help others the way they couldn't help themselves. I struggled many times with my mental health and diagnosis's I could never understand myself. I'm an empath and can easily understand someone when they feel as if they can't understand themselves. Knowing addicts and being around them, I've grown to understand their actions. There's many misconceptions that drug addicts are bad people. My father wasn't a bad person, but someone who couldn't fathom his own pain that he projected it onto others. Part of me has a fear that I could turn into him, but I plan to help people like him. I'm going to become a social worker and I'm going to help others. My father couldn't be helped because he didn't want it, but I was sent here for a purpose. My purpose is to bring out the best in people while helping them. As I struggled with mental health and still do, many social workers helped me in a place and time where I couldn't. They saved my life and taught me lessons I never would've known without them. I wish my dad could still be here to see the woman I'm becoming. Part of him lives on within me as he guides me through the darkest days. He wrote a book called, "My Passage." And as Randy was never able to finish the story, I'm going to finish it for him. I'm going to change the world no matter how many battles I've faced. Randy will always be known as my father and I'll always be his 'Georgia Peach."